Talk:Gears of War: On The Beat

Wow
Aside from the fact it’s obvious Lucius is a character you know well and this is definitely from an already well established fic, I had to laugh at the classic dirty minds of the guys when talking about the Captain getting some… well, a lot, lol. I really like the way you wrote that banter, not sure how to explain why but it just really denotes the cutting in and randomness of a conversation in such a situation.

Then we go into the reminiscing and I'm left thinking what a place to work and reminded why I stopped watching such shows as CSI and Criminal Minds. I feel sorry for Lucius, but at the same time want to commend him for having the guts to do it, especially for his Mum. Don’t blame him for getting fed up with that whole scene either. I can’t imagine what it’s like for the real cops out there who have to see this sort of thing every day. Excellent depicting of such a horrible fact of life, Kate… extremely well written. Gives over what Lucius has seen and felt without going into too much detail and, as you know, lol, for me, that’s perfect.

A couple things I did notice though… passed is used instead of past and for the most part its past tense but a few places you’ve slipped into present once again. No biggie hun, because seriously, overall, this has just made me like the character of Lucius Jacquin immensely ^_^.

Cheers,